Schedule of Offenses
NAME OF OFFENDER_____________
REAL NAME OF OFFENDER (other than "sticks", "backbeat", "snake", "drowned-out", "bossbeat" etc._____________
INFRACTION(S) DATE _____________
Setup / Equipment Offences:
[1] Brings a 36" bass drum.. $25.
[2] Has more than one bass drum..$100.
[3] Brings a 10" deep snare (for a solid back beat) ...$50.
[4] Brings more than 2 mounted toms ...$25.
[5] Has a tubular chrome bar that holds all his mounted toms..$50.
[6] Brings more than one floor tom..$25.
[7] Brings more than one crash cymbal.. $25.
[8] Doesn't bring a ride cymbal..$250.
[9] Brings a 46" Chinese gong (for big endings..)$75.
[10] Brings two timpani (for really big endings)..$100.
[11] Doesn't bring any brushes..$300.
[12] Has a hi-hat that is welded shut.$250.
[13] Asks leader where he can plug in his headphones ...$200.
[14] Wears old black Nike sneakers on tux gig..$50.
[15] Tunes snare drum during the benediction..$175.
Playing Offenses:
[1] Plays eighth note rock ballad style on "Stardust"..$150.
[2] Pretends to read chart with big band..$25.
[3] Actually reads drum part for big band (note for note)..$200.
[4] Asks bass player "Where are we?" on "Happy Birthday" ..$100.
[5] Plays disco beat on "A Train"..$200.
[6] Takes fours on "The Bride Cuts the Cake"..$100.
[7] Takes a break when the leader says "A request for Take 5"..$25.
[8] Actually tries to play on "Take 5"..$150.
[9] Asks leader what brushes are..$250.
[10] Plays breaks in "Cute" with sticks..$50.
[11] Plays breaks in "Cute" on timpani..$100.
[12] Plays breaks in "Cute" on Chinese gong..$250.
Other Miscellaneous Offences:
[1] Mentions to host that "DJs are the wave of the future"..$100.
[2] Is first in line at the party's buffet...$50.
[3] Asks where the "go away bags" are at the buffet line..$100.
[4] Is ten minutes late for the next set..$25.
[5] Is twenty minutes late for the next set..$10.
[6] Never shows up for the next set.. $1
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